I roll for Initiative.

Come for the awkward humor, stay for the sex jokes.

891 notes

spicyshimmy:

because nothing says christmas like your soulmate dying of radiation poisoning giving you one last goodbye kiss through the glass while your knees crumple under the weight of your sorrow, the upcoming 2015 wrath of khan hallmark christmas ornament is a must have!

(via saemful)

38,201 notes

angryseawitch:

screamingcrawfish:

a paranormal mockumentary show in the style of the office/parks and rec

revolving around the lives of employees at a hokey haunted mansion tourist trap that turn out to be actually hella haunted but most of its spirits are either benevolent or ineffectively malevolent

10/10 WOULD WATCH

Ghostfacers. That’s pretty much Ghostfacers

(via ginnabean)

Filed under supernatural ghostfacers

157,244 notes

madelinelime:

When I was a kid I thought your 20s were supposed to be fun, not filled with perpetual anxiety about financial stability and constantly feeling like an unaccomplished piece of shit. 

That’s because it was fun for baby boomers and they basically gave us this impression it would always be like that, but then they ruined the economy.

Fun fact: that’s not necessarily true. The economy was such that when they wanted to get serious and get a real job they could, but until recently the 20’s was seen as a time to experiment and try new things. But today the job market is such hell that unless you’re being really worried and focused in your 20’s you hit your 30’s and you have nothing. When my mom was my age she moved to San Francisco on a whim and then moved back to Tennessee a year later just because her roommate left and she couldn’t afford the place on her own.

(Source: curseofthefanartlords, via favabean05)

345,753 notes

shmapey:

justmyflawedlogic:

lokisgloriouspenis:

okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl

female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.

so in conclusion

if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick

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THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE POST

(Source: leethepace, via neverlaughatlivingdragons)